Expanse.

You were the star on the court.
The powerful burning ace,
the figure who inspires faith in your allies.
The view above the net is cloudless, glittering, endless expanse.
Strength and vitality beat through your body like blood.
Faith and joy burn like offerings in your heart.
Your body is an altar, your god the sport.

But a tall wall rose before you.
You jump.
And
you
fall.

Here is the story no one tells you.
Our minds are riddled with worms and rot.
All of a sudden –
everything
is
rewritten.

That beloved, sacred, untouchable place turns alien and terrifying.
You turn.
You look at the net.
Where you once saw endless expansive sky, now you see a wall.
It stretches further than the eye can see.

It cannot be scaled.

Your blood turns to fear.
Your heart turns into a pyre.
All that you have to offer is fear, terror, and defeat.
You recognize nothing.
You can do nothing.
You are mired and paralyzed
by your own mind.

The sunshine boy comes along.
He is earnest and clumsy and lionhearted and bright as the sun.
He is passion embodied.

Your head lifts from the terror and exhaustion.

How could you forget these simple things?
The heft of the ball?
That bright burning wonder?
The spark and spirit that fuelled you?
Your teammates beside you? The guardian figure behind you?
The insistent presence of the here and now?

How could you forget hope?

You are at the net again.
You look.
The wall is there.
It may be there forever.
But this time –
you offer with calm hands your whole self.

And
the wall doesn’t disappear
but you –
you can see around it.
And the fear falls away
and your mind’s eye
opens up again.