going home

Sawamura Eijun is lion-hearted, lion-eyed, and lion-fierce.
He barrels into your life
noisy and unapologetic and blundering
and he brings with him
so
much
warmth.

You love to tease him,
to see his face screw up adorably in indignation
as you lean away from the inevitable explosion of noise,
laughing,
while he shouts angrily,
MIYUKI KAZUYA!!!
Oh,
you have not felt this lighthearted
in a long, long time.

Over the years,
you have perfected the inscrutable expression on your face,
a right arm wall that prevents anyone from reading you
so you are never anything more than composed, amused, and contrary.

Sawamura disarms you.
Can people see your heart in your eyes, when you look at him?
Can people see the idiot softness in your smile?
Can people see the unbearably stupid fondness that has taken over you?

You fight to keep your right arm wall up,
but your heart is so stupid nowadays.
It always wants to show itself to Sawamura,
as though it wants to go home.

He looks at you and there is just
so much
in his eyes,
that you have to look away.
He looks at you like you are a gift he never thought he would have,
like you are his catcher,
like he loves you
with every ounce of passion
in his lion-fierce heart.
He looks at you
like he will never let you endure
anything
alone
ever again.

It is so much.

Being with him means everything changes.
You are full of fear.
Terror beats with every beat of your pulse.
It is hard to breathe.
You now have everything to lose.

But you are a challenger.
You never back down from a fight.
In fact,
the tougher the opponent,
the happier you are.

And so,
with every thing on the line,
with the rest of your lives at stake,
with love as the trophy,
you put on your catcher’s gear,
and you begin the hardest match of your life.